i cried myself till i was calm enough to sleep

cuz i realised

that the life i thought i had

that screwed up piece of shitty life i've been living for the past three damn years

it's finally, finally gone

oh that long bridge between the 16 year old self

confident, secure, ambitious, bursting with ideas and things to do, curious about the world,

brilliantly self assure

to the soon to be 20 year old self.

the way i am right now

not as innocent and pure as my 16 year old self

a bit more broken

a bit less believing

a bit afraid to invest her heart into anything

a bit more secrets to hide

but finally, again

confident. secure. ambitious.

not quite the same person

oh but i'll grow

those ugly people that have scarred me for the past three years

those demons that haunt me and beat me down for three years

they are gone, gone. gone.

i can finally be free again.

nothing to hurt me to that degree for a long, long time.

no more, no more.