StephChoy

Tuesday, April 28, 2009{ 12:15 AM }

don't get me wrong i still believe in Him.

i just don't believe everyone else

i loved once

Monday, April 27, 2009{ 11:54 PM }

I hate it when you speak

nonsense

that you want me to believe

and then criticise me for not upholding those behaviours.

fuck it.

i'm through

the whole point is to LIVE a good and righteous life

how the hell are am i supposed to live is i spend all my time

stuck in some building

stoning in the pews doing Kegel exercises

listening to basically the same concepts and teachings i've been listening for what, 3? 5? years

i know their beliefs, their arguements, their counter-arguments, their interfering ways

i've lived it, i've done it, i doubt it

i'm through with it

for all their grand declarations and promises to be better people

they're awfully disappointing

they do worse things, i know

so what if the alternative seems superficial

if i seem materialistic with my makeup and new clothes

for chirst sake, let me have some confidence in myself

since confidence was stolen from me with all that layered lies

at least i know i've living

and not stuck in a dead cycle of repetition

if everything is supposed to be so perfect your way

you still got the tell me why

why am i only cured this way

from that disease you happily denied and brushed aside so carelessly

while i fucking wasted one year to figure a way out of the suffering myself?

i loved once

Tuesday, April 7, 2009{ 12:01 AM }

Talk is cheap so I bought every word you said

Is it possible to dig up debris frm years ago, rearrange them in today's day and age and watch the pieces unfold in the exact same way, again, and again and, it never changes. Destiny holds my path in too firm a grasp that my hopes are in vain, my dreams, futile.

Right here, right now, I can't, I won't.

Ever.

Fall in love again.

Yet each passing moment is mine to savour

And I will.

Despite it all.

i loved once