OK i'm done-ish with my uni applications. All i have to do is to actually pay ($35 in total wao lao) and give SMU the documents. So leychey. Snore. Here's my choices (in order)

NUS- Architecture, FASS (faculty of arts and social science)

SMU- Business, Econs, Social Sciences

NTU- Communication Studies. 

Honestly applying for all is such a waste of money (i could have spent it on food instead) when the most important one is just NUS archi. haha. Can't believe i'm willing to commit the rest of my life to design and studio work but oh well we must follow our hearts right? 

I actually put art design media (ADM) as second choice but they said my portfolio and nonsense must reach them or else the whole application is considered incomplete?? Piece of shit la. So i took it off hahah I'm wasting $10 to apply for one course that i'm gonna reject but i want to keep my options open. So kiasu, ayio, i'm so disappointed in myself. 

I need a new part time joooooob!!! Cuz i got a feeling camp season is gonna be low and just in case. 

Eeyer so kiasu again.  

But i really need, no want the money HEHE. My dad's right. I'm a spoilt brat who loves expensive things. He should be glab i'm not in the branded bag phrase. Yet. I'll never know. haha. I just busted $200 on 2 pairs of levi's. And that's on top of my $300 ipod and $250 jasonmraz tickets slurges. YAY i love spluring. I love getting paychecks even more. 

And there's an upcoming trip to thailand with rajes and syarah woohoo i really do need cash. 

Camps weren't so good this week, mainly cuz i was sick. Thank goodness for nice mirrors. I think i find it easier to work with guy mirrors (my next mirror's a girl darn) cuz they're generally more laid back yet can rah rah the group better? I feel more in synch with them la, compared to mirroring a girl. Besides it's better dynamics for a group to have one male and one female instructors right. 

Hmm and i never do take photos with my mirrors i realise. 

Speaking of genders and instructors, I really thing male instructors deliberately flirting around with female campers are just... hmmm. Sad. Can't find girls closer to your age is it. HEE. 

Which I'm completely aware of

But generally accept 

Are starting to get to me

Big time

To the point

Where I'm really starting to hate myself

For not trying harder

For failing all the time

All these years

Shame on me. 

Shame on me

Shame on me

I always thought I was better then this

Why are all the things which I seemed to have recovered from

Coming back with greater vengence

Heads up. 

Chin up. 

And celebrated the malleable reality.

I don't want to take the results.

I don't want to walk back to the Ac hall

Knowing fully well that I'm not the same person

as the last time i left it. 

I feel the need to curse and swear the CHA way

at the thought of going back there, seeing all those ppl again

For some really childish reason, I thoroughly enjoy being able to be extremely vulgur with all the other instructors. 

I love the culture there, even though at times I catch myself missing the smart, witty conversations with the artsy/lit ppl. 

One of the best part of my job

Is being with fellow instructors 24/7 for 3 good days. 

Seeing them laugh 

scrowl 

get shagged tgt 

get completely fustrated 

swear whenever a camper's out of sight

and go completely mad at the end of it.

Right now I'm the audience

I watch, I enjoy myself

I've yet to speak up more

I've yet to let ppl really get to know me

For now. 

I'm glad I'm a fulltimer for now. 

I've got so many other things to settle.