Which I'm completely aware of

But generally accept 

Are starting to get to me

Big time

To the point

Where I'm really starting to hate myself

For not trying harder

For failing all the time

All these years

Shame on me. 

Shame on me

Shame on me

I always thought I was better then this

Why are all the things which I seemed to have recovered from

Coming back with greater vengence

Heads up. 

Chin up. 

And celebrated the malleable reality.

I don't want to take the results.

I don't want to walk back to the Ac hall

Knowing fully well that I'm not the same person

as the last time i left it. 

I feel the need to curse and swear the CHA way

at the thought of going back there, seeing all those ppl again

For some really childish reason, I thoroughly enjoy being able to be extremely vulgur with all the other instructors. 

I love the culture there, even though at times I catch myself missing the smart, witty conversations with the artsy/lit ppl. 

One of the best part of my job

Is being with fellow instructors 24/7 for 3 good days. 

Seeing them laugh 

scrowl 

get shagged tgt 

get completely fustrated 

swear whenever a camper's out of sight

and go completely mad at the end of it.

Right now I'm the audience

I watch, I enjoy myself

I've yet to speak up more

I've yet to let ppl really get to know me

For now. 

I'm glad I'm a fulltimer for now. 

I've got so many other things to settle.